Tips to Tell if He is Really Into Being With You

Or Will He Just Love You and Run?

This is a series on how to tell if the man you are with really wants to be with you, or if he is just there for ulterior motives. Yes, he may be into you and just not know how to express how he feels to you, so you are here reading this to learn to read his signals. And believe me, there are many signals a man gives off when he cares and also when all he wants is another notch on the belt around his waist. They are not what you would expect either…

That being said, I would like you all to know that I have been through this. I know what both sides of the equation feels like. I do not want anyone else to have to suffer, which is why I write. So please… Read on…

You Finally Found the One…

You think you finally found the one guy you may want to spend the rest of your life with. You are happy, full of life, ecstatic even, and want to know… Is really that into being with you?

This is a question that simply must be answered if you are going to want to start trying to make plans for the one day when you both say “Hello” to the “Rest of your life” part of your lives together. So then, how DO you tell if he really is into being with you?

Tell ‘ya what…

I have a few tips for you to consider and a few questions for you to ponder. Maybe you will come up with the answer you need before you actually commit to the life changing decision we all dream of making.

How does he treat you on the phone?

Is he curt with his answers? Or does he like to sit and talk for awhile? Why does this matter? Well, a man knows how much a woman needs to talk on the phone so, if a man is really into you, they will talk until you want, or need, to hang up just to let you know that they are willing to tolerate your little quirks.

A man who does these sort of things is trying to show you how much he cares about making you happy. These are the kind of relationships that can last a very long time and are the kind of men that every woman wants to have around. Forever.

On the other hand, a man who says a quick little “Hi’ and a few “yeah” and “Uh-huh” and “mmh’s,” seeming like they are not even paying attention, or are only agreeing with you just to get you off the phone a lot faster than if they had had an actual conversation with you that means something. This is a sure signal that he wants nothing more to do with you than maybe a romp in the sack and a dinner or two before he splits.

See, the thing is, this type of man will always treat you right when you are out with him. This is because he doesn’t want you to have any kind of ammunition against him if and WHEN things break down between the to of you. This is the kind of man who cares more about the notches on the bedpost or his belt and his almighty “Rep” than being with you for the rest of “HIS” life. Get rid of him, lest you end up with a broken heart after you’ve become attached or emotionally vested. It’s not worth the BS.

A man will also talk on the phone if they are high maintenance, so watch out… Here’s how you can tell the difference between a man who is talking to you because they care of if they are talking to you because they are too clingy…

If they like to talk your ears off and you feel like you have to almost beg them just to hang up, or he has to call YOU more than once a day when you’re not together, then it can signal they he might be a bit clingy. High maintenance men are great, it means they take care of themselves (And Lord knows we need them to), as long as they’re not even more high maintenance than you are…

Have You Met His Friends or His Family Yet?

What? You haven’t? Dump him. Especially if you have asked him repeatedly to meet them. I mean, if you two are going to be spending a good deal of time together, than you ought to get to know the family and friends, right? It’s only logical, right?

Well, of course it is logical. To you, anyway. But to him, introducing him to his friends and family would mean that’s he’s emotionally vested in the relationship. Even if it is just the guy’s definition of “emotionally vested.” See, what this means, to many men, is that he no longer gets to do what he wants. It almost borders on commitment issues. By introducing you to the people he cares about the most, he is making that commitment to you. He’s probably scared sh***ess.

Now, Keep This Information in Mind and Keep Reading

The only times it is acceptable to not have met his friends and family just yet is if you have just recently gotten together, say in the past two weeks or so, or if you are in a long distance or an online relationship of some sort. But if that’s the case, why on Earth would you be thinking of hitching with him already? Slow down girl! I know love at first site does exist, but if you are reading this, than it probably doesn’t exist for you just yet… Think about it.

Anyway… When a guy doesn’t want you to meet anyone he cares about, it’s usually because he doesn’t want them to get too attached to you, not the other way around. Think about it. Why is he going to introduce you to them if he knows it’s not going to last?

If he’s not too into being with you, he’s sure as Hell not going to introduce you to the pack and let them get emotionally attached. He doesn’t want to hurt them. And why should he? They are the Guys… A man always must protect the interests of the Guys,. It’s like, a man code, or law, or something.

Now For the Flip Side

This is going to be very sweet and to the point. If you have already met the family, do you know what that means? You’re In! He has made that commitment to you and the relationship. Because he cares for you, he is allowing you into the part of his life in which you would be able to hurt him the most. And that is with the people he cares about. And he obviously cares for you. Go Girl!

After reading all this information and knowing the deep dark secrets of a man’s mind… Ask him to meet the family. Or the friends. But first, ask yourself this… Are you sure you want to know his answer? But no matter what he does say, just remember the signaling clues. How exactly did he respond?

Most important, make the choice that feels right to you. Use your instincts. In any situation your first instincts are usually the only ones that matter. They are almost always the right choice.

Does He Pressure You for Sex? Does He Get Upset if You Say “No”?

This is the most important thing you need to ask yourself about a man, IMHO. A man, any man, who pressures you for sex, whether or not he gets mad, if you say that particular (dreaded) two letter word no man wants to hear, whether you’ve been together for a year or a day. This isn’t the type of man any woman needs to be with. Think about this for a minute… I mean really think.

Do you really, one day in the future, want to wake up and realize that he never actually cared in the first place? Whether he stays for the long haul, or dumps you after a week, a man of this sort will most likely either cheat, or cheat. If a man pressures a woman into having sex with them, at any stage of the relationship, it is obvious they are only there FOR the sex.

And for the women out there who are with the particular type of men who have the B***s to get upset if you say no… You do realize a man with that kind of attitude is not one to wait around until you so say yes, right? In all likelihood he will probably cheat too. Or, maybe at one point, will try to force you into sleeping with him. Long story short, any man who tries to pressure you into having sex with them just isn’t worth the time.

Imagine this situation. It’s early in the relationship and things start heating up between the two of you. You feel you are not ready to make the kind of commitment it takes to give up that part of yourself just yet, even though you care about him, you would like to wait a bit longer. And you convey these feelings to your man.

He gets upset about it and start pressuring you constantly, stating things like “If you love me you would,” “If you want to be with me you would,” or “I’ll find someone else if you don’t.” So in fear of losing him, you give in. And probably feel your dignity slipping away at the same time. Please believe me when I say, I understand what this feels like…I have been there too…

Then you find yourself having to deal with a 2 year old’s tantrum EVERY time you try to say no. And that’s exactly what he is at that point. He knows that you gave into him once, so he acts like a child until you give into him again.

But don’t take these words as saying that it’s your fault he acts like this-it’s not your fault. This type of man always acts this way. He is spoiled and he was probably raised that way.

So, if you find your self in this situation, get rid of him. If you wanted to have kids with temper tantrums, you would’ve had them (or do already and don’t need more) and you wouldn’t be looking for a man like this in the first place.

And for all you women out there who don’t give in, or haven’t yet slept with him yet, even though he pushed you (or tries to) almost to the brink of madness… Good for you! Don’t. Not until you feel you are ready. It is probably one of the best thing you can do for yourself. Even if you are willing to put up with the crap a spoiled man can dish out, you shouldn’t have to give up your dignity just for a relationship. More power to you girl!

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