Stuck in the Middle

I’m stuck in the middle of three generations of single men. Men in their 30s want to date women in their 20s and 30s, men in their 40s want to date women in their 30s and men in their 50s want to date women in their 30s.

According to my birth certificate, I’m in my 40s. However, I’m really in my 30s.

I don’t have a problem with my age. According to Dr. Oz, my real age is 38.4. The Real Age test is based on health, habits, relationships, diet and fitness.

I have a problem with being judged by my age. I’m instantly grouped in the “40 and over” crowd. Most of these people are old. They are even too old for my fabulous 60 year old girlfriend who is really 37.

I went from being invited to social events at Lima in my 30s to “Oldies, but Goodies” at the Yacht Club in my 40s. Who decided 40 year olds like oldies and goodies? I can see how the 60 year old men would be happy as clams, but I feel like I’m with a bunch of really old people.

I’ve never liked older men. It doesn’t help that I’m really 38, when they are really 60 going on retirement.

I am a hyprocrite when I say I don’t like being judged by my age. For online dating, it’s one of the characteristics we use for searching possible matches. I don’t respond to anyone over 50.

I responded to one 50 year old guy who thought we were a good match. I told him I wasn’t interested because his profile said he was 50, but he was actually 55 and admitted it in his written description. An insecure, older man is two strikes. I have never lied about my age.

I’m stuck in the middle because most of the men in their 40s have had children and don’t want more children. I want children. There are those in their 40s who have yet to marry who want children; however, they usually say they are looking for women in their 30s. I don’t hold it against them. They want a wife who they feel is not too old to have children.

There are many assumptions about age and what you can and can not do.

I assume any guy in his 50s does not want children. They’ve done that, been there. Or, if they haven’t, they don’t want to at this point in their lives. They are looking to relax, travel and self-indulge.

We all have the right to pick someone that we think is age appropriate. We base our decision on what we know and what we think it right for us.

What is right for me is not based on what society deems appropriate. I’ve never been one to follow convention.

Perhaps I need to date younger men. It’s the hottest thing…younger men who like to date older women and vice versa. The problem with that idea is these people usually date each other because they don’t want to get married or have children…and therein lies my dilemna.

I dated one guy who was 13 years younger than I. He said he always dated older women. It was okay for a short while. Although he was 27 years old, his real age was 19. So sad!

It’s very frustrating. I can’t be the only one who feels like they are stuck in the middle of a conventional structure. Maybe there’s a parallel universe where retirement happens in your 20s and 30s and you find your mate in your 40s and 50s…this makes so much more sense to me.

Until I find my parallel universe, I will fend off the 60 year old men and continue my search to meet a like-minded young soul.