So the conversation with my ‘casual doublelist fling’ who himself decided we shouldn’t be answerable to each other goes something like this;
Him ‘I havn’t seen you in a week, you don’t text as much as usual and you didn’t answer my call yesterday’.
Me ‘I’ve just been busy, I’m sure you’ve been managing without me’.
Him ‘Look, I’m not stupid I know you’ve been going out on dates. The grapevine works pretty quickly you know.
Me ‘I never thought you were stupid, I’m not going to hide anything from you but I’m not going to e-mail you my social calendar’
Him ‘So what’s he like then?’
Me ‘Who?’
Him ‘This guy you’ve been dating’
Me ‘There is no guy, it’s different people’
Him ‘Oh brilliant so there’s loads of them’
Me ‘I didn’t say loads, Jesus! They’re only dates and anyway why have you got a bee in your bonnet? You’re the one who “isn’t ready” for anything serious anyway’
Him ‘Don’t take the piss Dani’…..
Well I am stuck between a rock and a hard place, surely if he really wanted to make a go of things after all then he’d tell me to stop seeing anyone else, take me off the market and have a proper try at things. I’ve just re-read the conversation and it sounds like I’m a right bitch but I’m not, I do want things to work out with him but when I was free and single with not a date in sight he crapped himself at the first sign of us getting involved and made it crystal clear he wasn’t up for that. This is how we came to our agreement, we’re only supposed to be providing ‘company’ for each other when it suits and he’s clear I’m not going to sit around and wait for him to get over his commitment phobia.
Doublelist Ring
It upsets me, he upsets me a lot in fact because if truth be told my heart would like things to work out between us but my head knows he’s going to blow hot and cold on me a thousand times so I know I’d be silly to direct my energy towards him. I’m such an idiot, I went round in response to a barrage of texts and calls to pop in and see him even though I said I was busy, he can be really persistent but then he’s a salesperson like myself so I shouldn’t fall for his tricks. I’m now late for a train to meet David for our second date so this really isn’t a good start but if truth be told I wanted ‘casual doublelist fling’ to see me all dressed up and know what he’s missing out on by playing silly games.
I have a word with myself on the train before touching up my make up and when I see David he looks immaculately turned out as I expected. He’s slightly flushed and says he’s run to meet me as he was also running late and the fact he hasn’t had time to get nervous shows through. He greets me with a big hug and kiss on the cheek showing he’s genuinely really glad to see me. It’s nice and I’ve erased the evenings earlier drama’s from memory already. We chatter away over a couple of cocktails in a nice doublelist bar on the marina and the difference is dramatic from our strained first date. Apart from me nearly choking on my overly peppered main course (I hate pepper) it was a really fun evening, we had a couple more drinks after dinner and had a really good laugh. When he walked me to the station to catch the last train I missed it because we were snogging like teenagers on the platform! It actually pulled up, collected doublelist passengers and went again without us noticing. Now I am a proud woman but I have to say I thought it was really gentlemanly when he insisted on pre-paying the cab driver for my taxi home.
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