Should You Buy a Girl a Drink?

So you’re out at night club or bar, chatting with an attractive young woman when she hits you with “Can you get me a (drink name)?”

It’s guys’ age old night life dilemma… What to do when she asks you to buy her a drink? Do you do it, or not?

Most dating advice for men would jump all over that with a resounding “Heck no!” with a bunch of speculation/theory about how “buying drinks is supplicating,” maybe with a side lecture on evolutionary biology theory like, “Women are searching for an ‘alpha’ lover and a ‘beta’ provider.”

In practice, our good friend Peter the Pick Up Artist might say something like, “LOL. You remind me of my little sister. You’re gonna have to wine and dine me first!” employing a gambit to get her to buy him a drink.

Our other good friend Franky Fratboy would laugh in her face, change topics like a kid on Ritalin and begin blurting out stream-of-consciousness diatribes about whatever comes to mind, because he’s so totally out to have fun, ‘get in state’ and remain in the moment.

We don’t recommend any of the above strategies.

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So should you buy a girl a drink or not?

So what do you do if a girl wants you to buy her a drink?

We at DateMasters take a step back and look at the bigger picture – and in the bigger picture, none of these response get to the heart of the matter.

With situations like these, rather than a ‘Find the Best Move’ solution, we like to ask the question “What’s Wrong With This Picture?” Doing this prioritizes holistic strategy over situational tactics. What mistakes were made BEFORE this guy found himself being asked to buy a drink? What did he do to be effected rather than acting at cause upon the world? Conveniently, one powerful answer to “What’s the problem with this picture?” is almost always “You’re in it.”

If guys get into the finer points of micromanaging whether or not to buy her a drink, what to say and how to say say it, they’re missing the context in which this interaction is taking place. Namely, they’ve already started off with a huge disadvantage by being in a Pay-To-Meet venue.

The Pay-To-Meet Industry is characterized by places with loud music, alcohol, and are designed to disorient guys into spending more money for the chance to Chase women. Basically, nightlife. Places like these are a shady middle man skimming a portion of your cash, sanity and health as you go about trying to meet women – you’re better off removing the middle man. As it stands, the nightlife population in any city, major or minor, is and will always be a mere fraction of the total population (we take an educated guess of 1% or less… talk about limiting yourself to small pool of women!) Compared to meeting women elsewhere (like on the street, in malls, at cafes, in bookstores, etc) Pay-To-Meet venues lose hands down. The only exception being if you’re involved in the running of venue itself (as DJ, bartender, owner, etc).