The other night, the movie Hitch was on TV. I absolutely love that movie. Will Smith who plays a Love Doctor teaches his clients how to date the woman of their dreams. He’s an expert of knowing all the things that women adore so they would be further interested in a man. (I guy can learn a few things from this movie!)
There are so many hilarious encounters that happen but one of my favorites was the scene where Will is teaching his subject how to give the first kiss. He says "8 out of 10 women believe that the first kiss will tell them everything they need to know about a man" "The secret is to go 90% of the way and hold". Meaning don’t go ‘in for the kill’, but make the woman meet you the other 10%.
Kissing is very important in a relationship and I can honestly say that I am one of those 8 women who puts the first kiss very high on the list. There is nothing worse than being with someone who you are not compatible kissing. There should be crazy sparks! The last man I kissed, I could tell immediately we had that connection. Our first kiss was a little awkward because we were trying to find each others rhythm, but overall I knew we were very compatible in that department. And looking forward to future opportunities. (too bad that one didn’t last but a milli-second)
So I decided to do a little digging and see what men think about the first kiss. On Ask Men.com there is an article on "Top 10: Secrets To A Great First Kiss".
Again, I think it’s a mistake to look at this as a question of “right” and “wrong.” For the most part, some men prefer the comfort of a committed relationships and some men prefer sexual variety. I don’t think people really change. Men in the latter category simply conform to societal norms and keep their mouths shut. Men in the former category may talk a lot shit about all the sex they had before they finally found the one but, deep down, the variety wasn’t that important to them. So, which is the OPs boyfriend?
Well, yeah, I guess that makes some sense. I don’t push a guy for his “number” and I don’t need to write biographies of his ex-girlfriends, but I think it’s smart to ask a bit about ex-es just to get a feel for how the person conducts themselves in relationships and what they generally want and look for.
That said, I still think the guy didn’t do anything wrong and doesn’t deserve the OP crawling up his ass about shit from his past. The kind of insecurity is toxic and irrational and will seek any target other than the self examination that would let it die an honorable death. I mean, the dude could’ve slept with one other woman his whole life and the OP (or someone like her) could decide to beat herself up about that. “Yeah, but she was WAY HOTTER than me/loved anal/blah blah/whine whine/so how could he EVER SETTLE for me/how can I EVER trust him?” Christ, he could be a virgin and she’d think, “No way he’ll EVER be satisfied without sampling more of life’s buffet…”
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