Thank you for your view. I agree with you and the other posters above that you need to plan carefully if
you intend to break this news to him. Plan for worst case scenario because it sounds like it is a very real possibility. Rejection isn't easy for the most level headed person to accept in a rational fashion. He has a history of bad temper so this will be difficult. DO NOT do this alone! Find someone to be there with you when you tell him. Preferrably family but friends would do also. I would suggest two people if possible. There are some really wise suggestions above about planning a safe place for you and your son, stashing money and valuables and talking to an attorney ahead of time. He/she might have more insight and advice to give you about how to protect yourself and your son. Please be careful and take care of yourself. Good luck and God bless!
https://mastodon.social/@craigslist/103806136326454903
I agree with dear and hotstuff 1000%. I grew up with an unstable stepfather(it wouldn't have mattered if he was my biological father), and though it never came to worst case scenario, it was pretty close a couple of times. Even though he didn't hurt me physically he did scar me for life, and it will forever be incomprehensible to me that my mother for putted us and herself in harms way. There is no reason good enough for that. It is serious. I grew up having to be perfect so that my stepfather wouldn't get angry, and or take it out on my mother. And it didn't get better, along the years he got worse. She finally left him when I was 17, by just not coming home one day. At that point I had been living with my father in another state for 3 years, as being a teenager was too much for my stepfather. Though every situation is different, you need to take care of your son. More than anything. Staying with your husband does not sound like taking care of your son; you are scared he will go ballistic if you leave him, so aren't you really a prisoner of your own home? And if you are then your son is a prisoner too. Save up money, secretly pack clothes and necessities for your son and you. Let people around you know what is about to happen so they can help protect you. Arrange for a place to live, with family and friends, and start looking for an apartment for you and your son. File the divorce papers as soon as possible, after you tell him. Get advice from a lawyer as to how to proceed. If you take control and get prepared than this will go much easier. Also, put your jewelry and other valuables in a safety deposit box, he might take them as punishment if you leave. It is much easier to leave now than when your son gets older, believe me. But you need to protect and care for your son, and yourself. You know in your heart what is right, and do the right thing even if it is the hard thing to do.
you intend to break this news to him. Plan for worst case scenario because it sounds like it is a very real possibility. Rejection isn't easy for the most level headed person to accept in a rational fashion. He has a history of bad temper so this will be difficult. DO NOT do this alone! Find someone to be there with you when you tell him. Preferrably family but friends would do also. I would suggest two people if possible. There are some really wise suggestions above about planning a safe place for you and your son, stashing money and valuables and talking to an attorney ahead of time. He/she might have more insight and advice to give you about how to protect yourself and your son. Please be careful and take care of yourself. Good luck and God bless!
https://mastodon.social/@craigslist/103806136326454903
I agree with dear and hotstuff 1000%. I grew up with an unstable stepfather(it wouldn't have mattered if he was my biological father), and though it never came to worst case scenario, it was pretty close a couple of times. Even though he didn't hurt me physically he did scar me for life, and it will forever be incomprehensible to me that my mother for putted us and herself in harms way. There is no reason good enough for that. It is serious. I grew up having to be perfect so that my stepfather wouldn't get angry, and or take it out on my mother. And it didn't get better, along the years he got worse. She finally left him when I was 17, by just not coming home one day. At that point I had been living with my father in another state for 3 years, as being a teenager was too much for my stepfather. Though every situation is different, you need to take care of your son. More than anything. Staying with your husband does not sound like taking care of your son; you are scared he will go ballistic if you leave him, so aren't you really a prisoner of your own home? And if you are then your son is a prisoner too. Save up money, secretly pack clothes and necessities for your son and you. Let people around you know what is about to happen so they can help protect you. Arrange for a place to live, with family and friends, and start looking for an apartment for you and your son. File the divorce papers as soon as possible, after you tell him. Get advice from a lawyer as to how to proceed. If you take control and get prepared than this will go much easier. Also, put your jewelry and other valuables in a safety deposit box, he might take them as punishment if you leave. It is much easier to leave now than when your son gets older, believe me. But you need to protect and care for your son, and yourself. You know in your heart what is right, and do the right thing even if it is the hard thing to do.
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