I read this interesting article recently that centers around the fact that men are always complaining about not getting enough sex from their partner in a relationship.
In confronting the issue, the author in turn raised the possibility that perhaps it is the men themselves who are putting women off sex. The argument goes that women are expected to look good and maintain their weight in a marriage to continue to appear desirable to her man but in contrast, how many men would make the same effort to maintain his appearance to please their partners?
Well, maybe so. After all, not many women would really complain if their husbands develop a beer belly and insist that they go on a diet or else. But on the other hand, a woman who has put on much weight would find herself being unattractive and even if not being told so by her partner, somehow, self-consciously that unattractiveness feeling will seep through.
Anyway, I think generally it may be true that women are less fussy over their husbands’ physical appearance. But at the same time, being uncomplaining is probably where the problem of mismatched sex drives lie. If a man puts a woman off sex because he doesn’t look physically appealing anymore and she doesn’t complain to him about it, then obviously, he wouldn’t know the reason for the frequent rejection of advances. In turn, he will blame the woman for not getting any.
In reading the article, I think it highlights the fact that being desirable and maintaining our appearance are equally important for both men and women. Somehow, it is just not fair to expect the women to always be physically attractive while the men can get away with a beer belly and still expect to have the same sex appeal throughout a relationship.
Been there, done then, hon.
My first boyfriend dumped me for another woman…TWICE!
My second boyfriend dumped me for a girl he met at a conference. He said nothing, then dumped me a few days later, moved to her hometown and had a baby with her not even a year later.
With my third boyfriend, I came home from a 3 week business trip and found a pair of red panties in the bathroom drawer where he kept the hairbrush and condoms.
I was lucky that I had a lot of wonderful guys in my life who I knew were very faithful to their SO to use as a reminder that it wasnt all men and it wasnt how men respond to me. I had just chosen the wrong guys and stayed past the expiration date.
I hope you have some men in your life (i.e. your father, brother, guys friends, etc…) who you know are men of integrity that you can use as models of how a good man treats the woman in his life. Would one of those men feel that his wife/gf is interchangeable with any other woman “with the right parts”?
Beyond that, I just trust people until they prove that they do not deserve my trust.
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