If I think about all the friendships I have had in my life, it takes a certain kind of man to just be friends with. Usually they are either husbands/boyfriends of close girlfriends, they are gay or they are acquaintances. By the word acquaintance I mean, I would hang out with them in a larger group but never hang out privately with just the two of us. I wonder if other women have the same situations.
We are sexual beings so I find it difficult that either the man or the woman would be attracted to the other and there may not be that attraction in return. Then there’s the question, is it healthy to be friends with your ex? I found it very odd, that one of my past boyfriends was still friends with every single girl he use to date. He even received christmas cards from them. Isn’t that weird? I think so. I find it hard to break up with someone and then actually "just be friends" and still hold a true relationship. What happens when one of them starts dating someone new? It wouldn’t be so easy to talk about it with the ex, somebody’s going to get hurt. So basically, we are talking about having a deep relationship, the break up happens, then you have to back up a few steps to just be friends and only talk about the weather? Not sure anyone can really, honestly take those few steps back naturally.
I became quite aware of the hardship of a male-female friendship when I was invited by a male friend to have dinner at his place. Our previous conversations were work related so I really didn’t feel there was a mutual attraction. So of course I assumed we were in the "friend" zone. My BIG mistake. I realized 15 minutes into dinner, that it was a date. How stupid could I have been that a male friend would cook a female friend dinner without wanting/expecting more? Crazy!
A read a recent article on Single Edition that actually talked about a few scenarios where it is possible for the male-female friendship. Here is the overview, but you can check out the entire article.
I’ve haven’t really been in those situations described in the article, but I do see how it can be possible. There’s a sliver of hope for the male-female friendship. The article then went into when single men and women CAN’T be friends. I think we all can guess those, but its a funny read.
I think DMN has a point. Some of guys will go through the wild phase and then decide that what they really want is to be a “family man”. Some guys never stop. I know a guy who lost both his first and second marriage to cheating. During the second marriage, in fact, his wife was his business manager and they had a 5 year old daughter together so he had plenty to lose. As soon as wife #2 kicked him out, he immediately got into an LTR and doubtless is now cheating on her too. A mutual friend and I were trying to understand why he doesn’t just stay single if he knows he cant be faithful and I suppose the answer is that he enjoys marriage and sexual variety equally. IDK.
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