When single men are like green beans. Or not.

I have always approached dating with the philosophy that it isn’t like grocery shopping. Which is to say, you can’t stroll down the dating aisle with a list of qualifications in hand and pick the right mate off the shelf. People are not canned vegetables and it just doesn’t work this way. Instead it’s about meeting single men, learning about them and how they fit with you, and making informed decisions based on what you can find out. You may have been shopping for french cut green beans, but find out the that kitchen cut kind are just perfect for your dinner too. You know?

While this is a good theory and one I still live by, it sometimes glosses over the fact that we all still have preferences. And while french cut versus kitchen cut may not be a big deal, you still wanted green beans after all, right? Or whatever, you get the point.

So what if during your stroll down dating aisle, you meet someone you mesh with. Things are good. But something is off…. one strong preference of yours is just not met in this man. Maybe he’s perfect except he doesn’t like to travel. Or maybe you get along really great but you just can’t get over how he dresses. Or maybe you have a blast together but he’s just too skinny or overweight. Sure, in the big picture it looks like these things should be surmountable obstacles… or are they?

At what point do we compromise, or not? What if he is overweight? Do you accept that? Do you hope he’ll lose the extra pounds? Or do you run for the hills? What if he turns into an obnoxious jerk when watching sports… every weekend? Do you set up a TV in a separate room and ignore it, or do you cut your losses and leave? What if he doesn’t dress nicely? Do you buy him a new shirt and tell him what to wear to meet your family, or do you simply give up?

Dear readers, when do you build a bridge and get over it? Or when is the chasm just too wide? This one date wonder wants to know what you think.