Wouldn’t it be great to be in a roomful of smart women, being able to ask anything you want and get honest answers straight from the source? Instead of listening to men on what they think they know what it takes to be a success with women, or ordering their crap at outrageous prices, doesn’t it make better sense to listen to, SMART women on what they want? Each of these answers to the men’s most frequent questions about women will be answered again, but more in detail later on in your book.
These answers come from smart women, not the flighty ones who don’t know what they want. That is what makes a difference in your success with women!
Q: I never know what to say to a woman when out on a date, or trying to get to know her before I ask her out. What does she like to hear?
A: If she didn’t like you, she wouldn’t be on the date with you. In most cases that is. She may just be with you because she is bored, or she is the type who can’t say "no" to people. So you not being able to come up with the words isn’t really a problem. She too may have the same problem. Ever think of that? Many other books would stipulate to just talk about anything. That’s not good advice because it has to be something that interest her, or it might be your last date with her. Ask what she likes, and what her hobbies are, and then talk about them in length. Let her talk about what interests her, and then listen! People love to talk about what they are interested in.
Q: Is there a way a guy can tell if a woman will reject him before he asks her out?
A: No one can tell what the other is thinking. Even if she doesn’t seem interested when you are trying to get her eye contact. She could just be shy, or she is the kind who doesn’t like to flirt. Some women don’t like this for some reason. Instead she would prefer you to just come up to her and introduce yourself. There is no way of telling.
Q: How can I get a woman to go out with me again? It seems like that I can never get another date with her.
A: This can be a complex and long answer. There are many reasons why men aren’t very successful in getting second dates:
1. You’re too boring.
2. She may not like your mannerism
3. She may have just went out with you so she wouldn’t hurt your feelings, or she didn’t have anything else to do.
4. She didn’t like your personality after she got to know you better. "The chemistry wasn’t there."
5. Most women are picky. She looks at a man as a long-term relationship, even if it’s just on that first date. So you have to be almost perfect in her eyes.
Q: I’m not very good looking. How can I be more attractive to women?
A: Believe it or not, there are some women out there who are more attracted to a guy who has a personality, a good attitude, can make her laugh, listens to her and who is also there for her when she needs him. Just making her laugh can make a man more appealing to her. Being a good dresser is also a large part of being more attractive. Just because you don’t think you are that good looking doesn’t mean you are to her. All women have different tastes in men.
Q: Is it really true that a typical woman prefers cuddling rather than having sex?
A: For most women, NO! It’s just that it’s so hard for her to find a man who can arouse and satisfy her. She gets that same fantastic feeling as a man does, so why would she not want that same great feeling also? If you can satisfy her, well then of course she would rather be made love to. It’s afterwards when she wants to do A LOT of cuddling. Not just a wham bam, thank you ma’am.
Q:Why do some women act so defensive and act like they aren’t interested in men when at nightclubs?
A: Well maybe because they aren’t interested. Many go there for the music and to dance. You have to keep in mind that there are far more men than there are women in nightclubs, so they are always being hit on, especially by jerks. Some women get tired of it, so they act defensive. Put yourself in their shoes and you will begin to understand. Just be a gentleman when approaching her. Give a big smile, and don’t take it the wrong way if she says no. Keep trying because most women do go there to meet men. No matter what they may say.
Q:Why do women like to play games, like she shows her interest, but doesn’t call you like she says she will?
A: The same reason the men do …they like to flirt. But when he acts on it, she recoils. It’s very hard to distinguish between flirting and really wanting to go out. They appear as if they are interested, but when you ask them for the date, things suddenly change. We (men and women) are a society of flirts. Who doesn’t like to flirt? But unfortunately some take it too far and land up being teases. Beautiful women especially love to tease men. Then the roles are switched where it’s the women who land up not returning the men’s calls.
Q: I was in this nightclub, and I struck up a conversation with this woman. I asked for her number, which she gave me, but when I called her the next night, she seemed disinterested, and not very talkative, like the night before. This has happened to me a couple of times before. What’s up with that?
A: It’s hard to tell, since I am hearing it from your side only. Instead, answer these questions, TRUTHFULLY: 1. Do you think she was drunk when she gave you her number? If so, she may have done it without thinking. Not many women will give out their home number. There are too many jerks and dorks out there, so we do this for safety / privacy reasons. I will NEVER give out my home number until I get to know him better. It’s usually after that first long date with him before I will do this.
2. She may have changed her mind since then. Haven’t you ever done that with women? But then again there is no reason for her to act childish by not saying much over the phone. If she does, you are better off without her. Also, she may have had a boyfriend. She may have gotten ahead of herself by giving you her number. Many women get into a fight with their boyfriend, or aren’t happy with them, so they will give out their number to the guy who shows her an interest. Later she changes her mind, hopping things will improve with her boyfriend. This happens a lot!
3. Were you acting totally different over the phone? I have spoken to a guy where he came off very cocky and cool / full of himself, when before he wasn’t like this. I don’t know where the transformation came from, but I told him I had to go, and that was that. So, as you can see, it could be many things. But these are probably the reasons why women do this. If this happens again, ask why she seems so disinterested. Hopefully she will act like an adult and tell you why.
Q: How do I keep her interested in me, even after many months of being together?
A: By giving her what she wants. What would keep you interested? By her giving you what you want, right? If she wants more romance from you, give it to her. If she wants you home more often, do that. That’s what makes a great relationship… giving each other what the other wants.
Q: How can a man tell if she is interested in him?
A: She’ll show you the same way you would show her. She’ll flirt, she’ll show you with her eyes, she’ll get close to you, she’ll touch you while she is talking with you and she keeps looking at you. Not hard to figure out, is it? You may have heard about those other signals she gives, like curling her hair, or pointing her body towards you. I have never done any of those things, and neither has most women, because we show it with our eyes. Isn’t that all we need to do?
Q: Is it true that even the attractive women have a hard time when trying to find that right man and that not that many men approach her?
A: You’ve probably heard about how beautiful women don’t get many dates because very few men will come up to her because they are intimidated by her looks. This is true, to an extent, but her loneliness doesn’t last very long. Women like these are hardly ever alone. It just seems that way. If they are alone, it’s just for a short time. It’s up to you to catch her when she is alone during that short time. And that means asking one out any chance you get.
Q:Is it possible for an average or below average-looking guy to get the interest of a beautiful woman?
A: With just about all, no. The odds are stacked high against them. All women are not the same though. If you keep asking, you might eventually find an attractive woman who will like you for your other qualities. If you don’t let rejection discourage you, it is possible that you can meet and date the kind of woman you’re after. Just beware of those teases, because they love to jerk men around in a sexual way. It gives them some sort of power when doing this. The only way you can tell she wants to be with you if she wants to spend at least three dates with you. Otherwise it could be because she has nothing else to do. If that’s the case, then the most you can get from her is two dates, before she moves on.
Q:When a man is out trying to meet women, what usually blows it for him?
A: He’s uptight, dull, or he doesn’t show enough interest when asking her out. Women like men who are full of life. He wants to be with her, and he shows it. He gives warm smiles, and he is full of personality. He gives her his full attention, like she is the only one in the room. Many men are not like this. You have to show her that she is the only thing that matters to you.
Q:Do women get as horny as men and will want it at the drop of a hat?
A: Every woman is different. Some women do get as horny as men. Most don’t. For most women they aren’t as active as men are. Even if they are in the mood, MOST of them would have to like the guy a lot and know him more before jumping into bed with him. You’re horny all the time; most women are in the mood maybe one week out of the month, with a few days thrown in here and there.
Q: Can women really tell the difference when a man has his hair done at an expensive salon or just a barber? Can you tell if that suit he is wearing is top of the line or he bought it at a store, like Sears?
A: Many women have commented that they have had several boyfriends in the past, and they all went to a barber. They look just as good as any other man who would go to those salons. You simply cannot tell the difference. As for his wardrobe, if he looks nice and his clothes fit him, it doesn’t matter if they are expensive or not. In some instances you can tell. That’s only because these men obviously did their own shopping. If they would have had a woman with him, she could have easily picked out a cheap suit that looks just as good as an expensive, tailored cut version. It’s all about where you shop and your tastes.
Other than the suits, men can go shopping at inexpensive places like JC Penny or Sears and get fashionable shirts and pants that women like. Purple shirts, with khaki shorts or pants are my favorite. You don’t have to do your shopping at top-dollar stores. Some men feel that they have to spend a lot of money in order to look good. A twenty-dollar dress shirt, a pair of thirty-five dollar khakis and a pair of thirty-dollar loafers is all it really takes, as long as these clothes look good and have style.
Q:What about those classes for men on how to be more successful with women.
A: I don’t know anything about that, but let me ask you this: Why ask a man what he thinks when you should be asking a woman? There have always been and always will be books that are written by men… WHO LISTEN TO WOMEN ON WHAT THEY WANT, talk shows, and magazine articles that explain what women REALLY want from a man. Why should any man have to go to a class? The most important things to always keep in mind is: Know how to dress, have a sense of humor, be interesting, have energy … exciting (not all the time of course), and be nice … like a friend. With many women, the rest will follow.
Q: The women at my office complex are standoffish, and when I try to strike up a conversation with other women when at the food court at the mall, it’s as if I’m in a bar. Why do women act like that?
A: Not all women act like that. The ones you’ve encountered though it could be several things. How do you rate your appearance? This is a sad fact, but people don’t get very favorable responses from the opposite sex because of this? How is your attitude? Is it an attitude of God’s gift to women? Most women will not warm up kindly to men like this, unless of course he does indeed have the looks to back it up.
Do you have bad breath? Are you looking at her like she’s a piece of meat? Food courts have an atmosphere where it’s kind of awkward to just go up and introduce yourself. These days many women are leery of strange men, especially in big cities. Are you, JUST sitting there in the food court, dragging on a cigarette? She may very well be wondering why are you sitting in a food court for so long. Then here you come towards her.
You give the impression that all women you approach are standoffish. Is it really ALL women, or is it just the very attractive ones you approach? Some of you guys will approach just a few women, and when you get rejected, you then say all women are, as you put it, "standoffish." I have to admit that many women are indeed cold and unfriendly, but you don’t need a woman like that anyway. Don’t put all women in the same boat. Also, just the way you approach her can get her reeling the other way, especially if you were STARING at her beforehand. Some women can easily be freaked out by this, especially when a strange man approaches her at a mall food court.
Taking it real slow and being very friendly and warm is what it takes in an atmosphere like this. Try giving her a warm smile from across the room, then look down, appearing a little shy and harmless. Most women like that. Then a little later on go up to her and introduce yourself, and tell her that you know this is awkward but you just had to do something to get her attention. Tell her that you would love to get together with her sometime, and then hand her a note with your phone number. A HOME PHONE NUMBER, NOT SOME BEEPER NUMBER!
Don’t ever ask a stranger for her number. Not even her beeper number. She doesn’t know you! Then give her a big smile, and then leave. It’s that simple! If you aren’t much for words in a situation like this or you are feeling awkward, it’s best to just leave anyway. Leave her thinking about you.
Q: I have, I don’t know how many books on dating women. There are two things that I am still confused on. First, is it or is it not better to be a friend to a woman to whom a man wants to get to know better intimately? And second, do women like "nice guys"?
A: I don’t know much about these books either, but I, as a woman would think that nearly all these books on this subject are written by men, and most don’t know much about what women think because they don’t take the time to ask them the questions men want answers to. They just assume. I always run into men like this. YES, it is always best to be her friend first. Then gradually throw hints her way that you would like to be more than just friends. If she doesn’t respond, it’s because she isn’t interested in you that way. And it wasn’t because you were her buddy. That has nothing to do with it! There was no click for her. Just brush yourself off, act like an adult about it and keep being her friend. Find another woman to take her place. Haven’t you ever heard of couples being long-time friends and later on fell in love and got married? It’s just a matter of the man having the right qualities that she is attracted to.
Why wouldn’t a woman be attracted to a man who is her friend and who has the qualities she looks for in a man? She may very well be interested in him, but she is afraid to say something, fearing that he may not be interested. Women are more shy and hesitant in this area. It’s usually the men who act first because their sexual urges push them into it.
As for the second question, women don’t like it when he is ALWAYS nice, like he’s a doormat. They want a man who has a mixture of being nice (mostly nice), being cocky, bratty, funny, unpredictable and speak his own mind. Not one who does everything she tells him to do, or goes along because she wants it, even though he doesn’t. "Whipped"! They want a mixture of everything. I’ll admit that there are some screwed up women out there who are attracted to jerks, but not all women are like this. A good woman wouldn’t think that all men as being sex hungry pigs, wanting nothing but big-breasted women. Is that fair to you?
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