Do Nice Guys Get the Girl in the End?

 


Why do people eat at McDonald’s on a consistent basis when they know it is unhealthy?

Why do people smoke cigarettes knowing they are drastically increasing their risk of all kinds of deadly diseases?

Why do people drink beer to excess knowing they will have a horrible hangover the next day?

And why do married, powerful men hire hookers when they know the consequences of getting caught can be the destruction of their careers?

The answer to each one of these is simple: because it feels good in the moment. McDonald’s tastes good in the moment, cigarettes feel good in the moment, beer gives you a pleasant buzz in the moment, and hookers make them feel good in the moment in a way wives can’t or won’t.

There’s rarely any great emotional angst behind these decisions, despite what TV psychoanalysts would have you believe. Frank Gifford didn’t cheat on Kathy Lee because of some deep seated, long ago resentment for his mother—he did it because a pair of 42 DD’s was waved in his face, and 42 DD feel good. Really good.

Why Do Women Go After Bad Boys And Dysfunctional Guys?

Because by their behavior they make them feel good in the moment, creating that narcotic high of chemistry. Nice guys don’t do that, so women are not attracted to them.

Now, a lot of the stuff I just mentioned can have long term consequences, and it is not out of the realm of possibility to use self imposed discipline to avoid these things.

However, it is important to understand that people make decisions in the moment and for the long term simply because someone or something made them feel it (the whole marriage industry is based on this). So, what you want to do is be the guy who makes people, especially women, feel good in the moment.

If you’re the guy who makes people laugh, always has a funny story to tell, you’re genuinely interested in them, and you’ve mastered behavior that makes women feel chemistry, people will want to be around you.

When people want to be around you, good things come your way. More people want to hang around you, and the right people can bring you opportunity, and are happy to if you make them feel good.

When you make women feel good, you’re always their first choice because so many men make so many women feel so bad. Don’t overcomplicate this very important aspect of persuasion and influence: make people feel good in the moment, and they’ll make good decisions regarding you.

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