What to do when they lie?

I get this question fairly often and every time I hear the story I cringe inside. My first reaction is always anger at someome who lies to make his or her life easier and to get what they want at the risk of hurting someone they says they love.

Once I feel the pressure sliding down my body I have to wonder what happened in the relationship that caused this lack of respect. It IS a lack of respect when someone tells a lie because they know the truth will make them look like the piece of crap that they are. It’s like, “I’m doing the wrong thing but I don’t want you to be disappointed or angry with me.” Yeah right, then don’t make promises with your mouth that your actions can’t back up. Just sayin…

What is it about people who make promises when they know right up front that they have no intention of keeping their promise but they will hold their partner to theirs. Just drives me nuts.

Folks, it’s tough when you love someone you cannot trust. It leaves you feeling insecure and trying to decide if you should stay or go. Too often we’ll look at the relationship as a whole and remember the charming person who swept us off our feet and who can be very loving – and ignore how bad we feel when we get lied to.

Sometimes we stay because even if we feel really bad about ourselves we worry that being alone will hurt worse.
Sometimes we stay because we think that ALL people lie and this one is no worse than someone new.
Sometimes we stay because we think nobody new will want us.
Sometimes we stay because we think this person needs us.
Sometimes we believe we’re the cause of their misbehavior.
Sometimes we stay because even though this has happened time and time again, we believe it when they say, “it will never happen again.”

Let me say that all of these reasons are crap. Being lied to is not the price you must pay for being in a relationship with someone and not everyone will lie to you. You will NEVER be responsible for anyone else’s behavior regardless what he or she says to the contrary. We are all responsible for our own behavior and nobody can “make” you do anything – that’s just a sleazy excuse for abuse.

You found this person, didn’t you? You’ll find another one the same way. Being lied to tends to tarnish your sparkle a little bit but I promise that with a little dating practice you’ll polish up just fine.

As for why your liar creep keeps on lying? Why should they change? They’re in control, top dog and life is perfect just as it is. They do as they please and then say, “oh, sorry about that,” and keep on keeping on. You’re worth more.

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