Ever had a couple of pals of yours who started to date? It’s
not totally out of left field. Your guy pal likes you and so does your female
friend, so why wouldn’t they like each other? They’ve got at least one thing in
common. But when they suddenly discover they have more mutual interests than just you, the situation can
indeed become a slippery slope.
Here are five tips to navigate
this tricky situation:
1. Handle your jealousy:
You may feel suddenly slighted that they start having plans
together and do not invite you. Although you may feel uncomfortable that they
now have a separate relationship and life that doesn’t include you, try to be
happy for them. They are, after all, your friends.
2. Be supportive:
If they call each other pet names or decide to move in together,
accept it and support them. You can’t really give your opinion in the same way
as you would if it were one of your friends asking about their love interest
who is not also a friend of yours.
3. Do not take sides:
When the inevitable argument occurs, simply tell them both that
you are very sorry, but you just want nothing to do with it. Don’t take sides.
You will always lose out.
4. Look for the positive:
Although initially awkward, having two friends who are dating can
have many benefits. You can go on double dates! If you’re single, ask them to
set you up on a double date. You will now have two for the price of one when it
comes to giving opinions on if this date is right for you. If they fall in love
and have a long and healthy relationship, they will always have you to thank
for it and will forever be indebted to you for their life of happiness.
*****5. Make your stance clear from the beginning:******
This is my most important tip and it comes
from personal experience. Two of my friends Aaron and Erin (yes, those are
their real names) suddenly started to hit it off when a group of us went to
Miami for a weekend trip. Now, being that they were both my friends, and they
were both actors (I do not know a bigger recipe for dating disaster) I anticipated that this
relationship might implode at almost the same speed it had taken off on the
shore of South Beach in a mojito-induced haze. As soon as I saw Aaron rubbing
sunblock on Erin’s back, I made my opinion clear. “I like you both and want to
keep you both as friends. I will not take sides. Do not ask me what the other
is doing or fish for information.”
It was a bit blunt, but a very important statement to make before this got off
the ground. As predicted, their Miami romance fizzled a few months after returning to New York. Erin never
told me she was cheating on Aaron, and although that would have made for
interesting girl talk, I am glad I knew nothing about it and that relationship
ran it’s course. They are both still my friends.
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