Bad Dating Advice For Men Series: Be Confident

 

The best way to avoid bad dating advice for men is to know it, and then avoid it. I guess you could say that knowing is half the battle. So in that vein of thought, we're starting a series of articles about really whack stuff we've heard that came at us as 'dating advice for men.' Some of it is from guys we've met, some of it we've read on the internet, some of it is cultural knowledge that floats around – but all of it is way off the mark, it messes guys up and moves them further away from finding sexy, cool, high value women of exceptional beauty and accomplishment.



Dude: You just gotta be confident. That’s it man. Gotta have confidence.
Me: …

Why is this bad dating advice for men?

It’s not that the ladies don’t love guys who have confidence… It’s just that this dating advice is so unspecific, so vague and so general that it’s pretty much meaningless for men who are serious about improving their dating lives and social lives. It’s almost as bad as “just be yourself” in terms of lack of clarity.

With all the dating advice for men that we dispense here at the fountainhead of dating knowledge known as DateMasters (haha, only serious), we always aim to give clear, actionable steps you can take to start getting results. The keyword here is actionable. We’re all about action. Lots of it. Massive action. (We have an 8-week Massive Action Roadmap in the book Meet More Women.

We don’t want you to sit down, relax, read our blog endlessly, tell all your friends about us, buy all our products, take all our training… and then never use a single thing we taught you.

Far more important is that everyone – including you – get up, get out and take action talking to as many women as possible, every single day. When you do that, you’ll see there’s a whole lot of solutions for your dating life that are far more specific and concrete than a content-less blanket statement like “be confident.”

We recommend critically examining any piece of dating advice for men you hear: First, question the piece of advice. Then, go verify or deny it’s validity through your own lived experience (kinda like the scientific method!). Here are some examples of questions you can use to dismantle the bad dating advice example above.

Dude: You just gotta be confident.

Really? What do you mean by confidence in this context?
If a man were so inclined to ‘be confident,’ what steps would he have to take?
Specifically, what is it about ‘confident guys’ that girls like?
What actions are considered ‘confident?’
What actions are NOT ‘confident?’
How do we measure confidence?
How would he know when he’s ‘confident’ enough?
Do all women love guys with ‘confidence?’ Are there any exceptions?
In who’s best interest is it that ‘confidence’ is the thing that supposedly attracts women?

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Now, you can answer those yourself, use them as interview questions and ask guys around you who are successful with women and dating, or merely roll the questions around in your head, allowing your subconscious to work on the issue. The most important step is, of course, to go live your own experiences. That means to get up, get out, and go talk to women while experimenting with what you’ve come to believe ‘confidence’ is. Maybe you’ll find that the ladies really do love guys who have confidence. Maybe you’ll find that, under your definition of confidence, there’s absolutely nothing attractive about it. Maybe you’ll come to an entirely different understanding of what confidence is and how to use it.

Do You Believe This Misleading Dating Myth?

The key point is: Now you’re able to take an unclear, unspecific piece of dating advice for men and turn it into a series of thought processes and actionable strategies in order to actual draw out useful information and experiences for yourself.

 


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