Aaaaaand, we’re back. Sorry for the interruption, folks. The new version of WordPress made it all cattywampus for me to format things properly. I hope you’ve used the time away wisely. Gosh, I know I didn’t.
Oh, and before I forget, you should all check out Jennifer Priest’s blog. She’s a life coach who was kind enough to write a review of Manslations: Decoding the Secret Language of Men. Read her stuff and begin loving her immediately, please.
Today, we’ve got a really quick question. Why would a man bother dealing with having an affair for four whole years? Said mistress wants to know…
I came over to the UK and I have been dating a man for almost 4 years and he is married! Why would he do that? What is the point of dealing with a wife and a mistress at the same time.
Dear Taylor,
Well, while you’re wondering, I’ve got to allow my own personal wonderer to try one on for size: Why would YOU do this? I mean, not that I can’t imagine a reason. But let’s be very, very honest with each other, since we’re strangers over the internet and all…
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YOU WANT WHAT YOU CAN’T HAVE BECAUSE…
…you don’t really want it. Now, I don’t know why he doesn’t REALLY want to be with either you OR the wife. Could be any number of things.
- The thrill of “getting away with it.”
- Not comfortable in either relationship, so he makes sure he’s too “busy” to question why.
- Imaginary status thing as some kind of a James Bond-ish total bad ass man of mystery and intrigue.
- Big fan of bedroom farces, always wanted to live one out?
I don’t know about that last one. But I’m guessing that one of the others is in there. The main thing when you want to know why someone is doing this: It’s because that THIS is what they want.
I know, duh. But my point is that you seem to be wondering why he’d bother dealing with the hassle of a wife AND a mistress. And what I’d suggest is that that IS the point. The hassle is the point. Either he likes how crazy it feels, he likes what it says about him as a bad ass, or he needs to feel overwhelmed to avoid dealing with reality.
In other words…
IT’S A FEATURE, NOT A BUG
What you assume is a downside is exactly why he’s doing it, or else he’d be doing something easier.
Anyway, the point, Taylor, is that people choose their situations based on where they’re comfortable. Evidently this is how he likes to feel. (Honestly, I can’t relate to this at all. I don’t even like putting on pants in the morning, I can’t imagine actively choosing to be THAT busy.)
Ever known a dude to keep 2 ladies in the air for 4 years? Why’d he do it?
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