So I put my profile up on JDate one late night after playing myself (yet again) with my soon to be ex-boyfriend. I went on JDate to BOOST up my dating confidence, not to lower my self-esteem even further by getting hit on by little people. But of course, this is exactly what happened.
Someone who’s profile said Height: 5’8 could NOT stop instant messaging me, calling me, emailing me, etc. The fact that the height in the profile said 5’8’ should have tipped me off in the beginning to blatantly ignore. But, in the vulnerable state that I was in, and new to the online dating scene, I figured I should give this one a chance. A small chance, mind you, but a chance nonetheless.
Now I should have remembered from my college psychology classes that women lie about their weight and men lie about their height. But whatever. I guess sometimes we just have to learn things the hard way. I was soon to learn that 5’8 in internet date speak really means 5’6 ½ at best.
Here’s the clincher though. It wasn’t until he asked me if it bothered me to date a man who was shorter than me. When I admitted that it did, (very tactfully I might add. I even impressed myself with my nonchalance, even though I wanted to scream out, “HELL yes it matters Crazy!”), he let me know that he has worn lifts in the past and that they have worked out quite well for him. LIFTS!!!! I kid you not. It was not very easy to keep a straight face, that’s all I’ll say about that. Immediately after that, I wanted to say, “Ummmmm, I have to go?”
Just for any men out there who may be reading this, a “lift conversation” should be reserved only for a serious relationship, and should NEVER be attempted on a first date. EVER. Instant deal breaker. Not only are you putting yourself in the “Undateable” category, you’re also making yourself the butt of countless future jokes. “Oh, the JDate guy? No, I couldn’t see him anymore. Lifts.” “Yes, you heard me correctly.” “Lifts”. “I know, I know. I thought it was a joke myself.”
This papito would get extremely upset whenever I would wear any shoe with something even remotely resembling a heel. “Why do you have to wear those shoes?”, he would ask. (As if it were the shoes.) To which I would reply, “Why do you have to be so short?”, which usually shut him up immediately.
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