Some men love to flirt via email. It’s a safe way to have additional feminine contact and fantasy without “really” cheating. But it doesn’t sound like it’s working for you. Why get sucked into to a situation that won’t lead down a road you want?
I don’t see the friendship here because he’s not showing you proper respect trying to start something he isn’t free to do.
Here’s another way to look at this:
An old beau says he still has feelings for you and still finds you attractive. OK – that’s evidence that you are attractive. Walk away with new found confidence of your allure and get out there to find a single man who is right for you.
I recommend ratcheting down this “friendship” to an acquaintanceship.
You do not need to be building emotional capital with someone else’s husband under circumstances like this. Ice him out. Only respond to one or two emails per week, as nec. and appropriate. Let the flirty ones die on the vine. You’ll feel better when you distance from him and know you can look Mrs. Him in the eye. I understand that if you think you have a prior claim on a guy and you are plagued with whatifs and think he is, too, yhat there seems a world of very legitimate possibilities. But he’s made it clear, from what you say in your later posting, that legitimate possibilities are not on the horizon, after all.
So get out your fence posts and set some good, clear boundaries. You’ll feel better and you’ll be able to move on. like, i don’t know how you can handle emails like that…they give me the creeps. i do not want some (random) guy thinking about my bodynsoul in that way (e.g., melted Swiss chocolate). And if he has a partner i am not going there on so many levels, including chat and email. Is this what interests you about the guy? if you don’t mind me asking? that he wants you and he to do all sorts of funky things together? I’m with jeff~ young days of flirting was the wet towel flick, thrown rocks or a kick-board frisbie in the face.
I think I might have the tiniest bit of insight for you. I’m going through the same issue right now with my best friend from highschool (from 20 yrs ago). We’ve seen each other with our families and children a few times in the past few years. During this time, my marriage has ended, and his has been pretty close to unlivable. At a time when he is looking for any ray of sunshine, any indication that he is still worth being loved, that he is still attractive, your guy, like mine, is going to turn to someone that he knows loved him at some point. So the flirting starts. You don’t have to walk away from him, but do set some boundaries. Explain that you understand he is not happy, that he’s looking for a connection, but for the two of you, that connection is going to be a very meaningful, supportive, loving friendship. That’s what he needs anyway, he doesn’t need a sexual fling, he needs support, kindness and friendship. If he was a good friend, give him that, if not, then perhaps it’s time to say goodbye. My guy has eased off the flirting…we’re back to being best friends, and that’s really what we both needed in the first place. Amazing that a hug can be so much more fulfilling sometimes than an impulsive sexual romp down memory lane.
I think that yes, some guys ARE that blind. Or more to the point, some guys are willfully blind to stuff that goes contrary to what they want. AS IN, he wants to have a little flirty fun with you. You say, “This has to stop,” and he says, “Sure, sure.” But secretly, he just wants to keep on having fun. So he “forgets” you want it to stop.
Honestly, I think if you’ve told him what you want from him and he’s not willing to do it, you might have to block the emails. Or at least stop encouraging him by responding. It’s only going to drive you nuts.
Комментарии
Отправить комментарий