Asking for a Date


I think it takes a lot of nerves for a guy to ask a girl out, especially if the girl is someone that he really likes. I suppose the fear of rejection is always there and it is a risk that not all men want to take. After all, who likes to be rejected, right?



There is this friend that we have who is still single. He rarely goes out on dates but it is not because he isn’t interested. He is just a little shy and he doesn’t feel comfortable approaching women and asking them out on dates. The most he will do is to give women he meets through work his phone number.

The problem is most women wouldn’t call a man unless they are really interested. But how many relationships start off with that kind of love at first sight stuff. Most develop over a few dates as each check out the other and evaluate how compatible they might be. So, in most cases, it is still the man who still needs to call the woman and invite her out.

I tend to think that in this day and age, a straightforward approach just works best. People are less inclined to play games these days. If you drop hints to test the waters rather than ask a woman outright for a night out, she probably wouldn’t care to spend her time deciphering your motives and wondering what is on your mind. You just can’t expect a woman these days to sit at home and go through your moves and intentions to see if you are indeed asking for a date. If she doesn’t know what you have in mind, there are always friends around her for some company.

Rejection is hard, I know. But times have changed in that a lot of people have become very direct and straightforward. They are frank about their intentions right from the start. I guess the bolder you are now, the higher your chances of landing a date. That’s how life works - if you don’t open your mouth and ask, you won’t get what you want.

Moxie I agree with you on this post and share most of your opinions.
With my casual relationships and otherwise I’ve always done my best to be honest and expect and ask for honesty in return. Usually I get it…it’s like pulling teeth most times but in the end folks are honest with me most of the time…usually after they see I can maturely handle the truth without flipping out, judging, getting mad, and over-reacting.
I’ve never taken numbers from guys I wasn’t interested in (unlike many of my girlfriends who did either because they felt sorry for the guy, felt pressured to or didn’t know how to just say no).
I’ve never went out with or spent time with any man I wasn’t interested in in some way shape or form…..even if I just liked there personality but wasn’t physically attracted to them if a man could make me laugh and I had a good time with him I didn’t see any reason to not be his friend and spend time with him if we enjoyed each others company. I was honest and simply told them I wasn’t interested in them romantically and/or wasn’t attracted to them and only saw them as friends.
When I had a “casual” relationship with a man we discussed it in depth and I tried to make sure the communication was open and completely honest.
Like Moxie said , many times we go into situations not having a clue what it feels like to actually be in that situation and deal with everything that goes with it.

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