Listen up ladies because what I am about to say is life-changing! Well, maybe not so much life-changing as it will be dating life-changing… whatever, you get my point. I just have one question to ask-Are You THAT Girl? Which girl? The one who lays on her back every night, or whenever he asks, cleans his house, maybe does a little of his laundry, cooks his food- you know answering his every call and asking “how high” every time he says “jump”. Yeah, you know the girl, you probably have been the girl-wait-scratch that, you have been the girl. The girl giving without getting, the girl in the imaginary relationship.
What a sweetie you are, never mind you are the biggest ass I have ever known, but still, sweet all the same. Truth is ladies, it’s a dog eat dog world out there, if you don’t defend yourself, if you don’t stand up for your self, if you don’t set boundaries and maybe a few “rules”, you will get eaten(taken advantage of). You see, relationships and dating are an exercise of give and take.
Here’s a hint, people love to get things they don’t have to work for. And once something is free, people get disgruntled when they are later asked to pay for it. See how that works? So although you have a sweet, nurturing side that doesn’t mind doing those things for a man, even if he is not your official beau, you are actually making it harder for yourself. If you want the commitment, kissing ass is definitely not the way to get it. (Read This Instead)
So make sure you set some boundaries to avoid this situation.
-Never allow yourself to do nice things regularly or without warrant- sure if he cooks for you wash the dishes, if he takes you out to dinner, give him a back rub etc. not saying you can’t just be nice, or that you can’t do anything for him without getting something from him first, but just make sure it is give and take situation, not just give-with you on the giving end, not the receiving.
Oh and ladies don’t forget, dating limbo is no place to live, if you want it, you have to learn how to ask for it and if he doesn’t want it, there is no cooking in the world, or sex trick, that will make him change his mind. And if you are unclear about where the relationship is going, it’s okay to pull over and ask directions. Then at least you’ll know if you are the cow getting milked.
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