It is relevant because
I wouldn’t have sex with him if I’m not in a committed relationship. (if I do
see long term Potential with him) So if I’m super attracted to the guy waiting
3-4 months sounds painful to me. But that’s in my case cause I’m quite sexual.
That would be another reason to decide to be in an exclusive relationship after
our 4th date.
Yes, of course. Would
be stupid for me to just do it without being exclusive. I liked him a lot. Why
would I want to be wondering if he’s seeing other people while I start getting
intimate and all attached?? That still didn’t mean he needed to tell me he was
in love a month later or starting to involve me in his life more.
Hot debate. What do
you think?
Well, he told you what
you wanted to hear once to get what he wanted. What makes you think he wouldn’t
do it again?
He committed so you’d
sleep with him. Only guys who do that are either men with no options or men who
think nothing of commitment and do it with such regularity and so quickly that
it’s lost all its meaning.
Ask him how many women
he’s lived with.
Would be stupid for me
to just do it without being exclusive.
Stupid? Or
manipulative?
https://onlinelearning.atlanticfellows.org/eportfolios/55/Home/Keeping_Backpage_Real
https://onlinelearning.atlanticfellows.org/eportfolios/55/Home/Keeping_Backpage_Real
“Would be stupid for
me to just [have sex] without being exclusive.” That’s not stupid at all;
plenty of people, both men and women, do so. You wouldn’t buy a car without
test driving it, would you?
Also, in general one
has no idea if the other person actually is exclusive; all you know is that
they say they are. In your case, though, you’ve basically crawled up his ass
and consumed all of his free time so that he couldn’t be seeing anyone else.
That comes from a place of insecurity, probably because neither of you has much
of a life other than each other. That’s not remotely healthy.
“That still didn’t
mean he needed to tell me he was in love a month later or starting to involve
me in his life more.” Yeah, it does. Guys know women expect a relationship to keep
moving forward–and will cut off the sex if it doesn’t, so he’s progressing
through the various milestones he thinks (correctly, it appears) you expect.
You are both seem to
be trying to compress this relationship into as little time as possible. But why?
Getting there is half the fun. And many things simply take time to evaluate and
can’t be rushed.
Ok, be careful. The
man in my example above admitted that he tried to do this to me (was all about
committing, but I was the wrong woman. True commitment-phobe in the very
literal sense of that word. After he brought that up, I disappeared and ignored
him for a few months) after I wised up and told him I was leaving. he thought
that “committing” to me, yet still sleeping around “behind my back and dumping
me when he found someone else he wanted” would get me to sleep with him, which
was his only goal, obviously, in hindsight. Why are there so many commas in
there?
I didn’t dislike this
guy before, but now I am starting to. Beware, he may still be a good guy, but
now I think he is lying to you. None of us know him here, though.
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