I know you responded
to this post a long time ago. I am just reading these posts as a way to
rationalize my own breakup and try to move on, which seems so difficult to do.
I was in a relationship that moved very quickly as well. The backpage guy always seemed
to have a gf or some companion. He is good looking, very handy, lumberjack,
outdoorsy type. He comes across as incredibly confident, but deep down is
insecure. He would get jealous a lot.
Ontario Backpage
Anyways, he courted me and romanced me
heavily. Yet, he would freak out if he saw a picture of me with a friend on
facebook…a guy friend that is. I was always extremely loyal to him. We lived
together. I didn’t want to sabotage what we had, so I tried not to think about
him always seeming to have a girlfriend. He made it seem like he liked or loved
me more. But, he abruptly moved back to his hometown and broke things off. He
wasn’t happy with his job…he said he was happy with me, but that he was too
controllin to do distance. Literally, a week later, he was dating again, yet
still in contact with me. A month later he wanted to get back together and
wanted me to move to Ontario…about 5 hours from me. Anyway, at that point
I had losted a lot of trust and had too much integrity to just drop everything
and move up there. The fact that he could abruptly move out the way he did made
me worrisome that it would happen again.
Canadian Dating
When I gotten a job offer and wasn’t
going to move, he was extremely hurt. He couldn’t handle it and as a
distraction ended up dating a girl a week later! The backpage girls he finds are usually
all very intelligent, have their own life, jobs, attractive, etc. Of course
they fall for him because he is manipulative. When things ended with the girl
he called me again. He told me right when they started dating that she was a
distraction. Anyway, I know I am only showing the negative of this man. The
bottom line is, he wanted to be with me, but he didn’t want distance, so he
lived in the moment. He is very “here and now.” He always needs a backpage companion,
and he wanted me to understand that even if he had a romance going on, that
didnt mean he didn’t love him. He wasn’t cheating because we weren’t together.
This summer I saw him and once again he said he wanted to be with me and that
he would have been with me all along. He even used the word “marry.” I know
that it is a bunch of BS because the actions didn’t measure up, but I really
wanted to believe it.
Backpage Personals
When he was dedicated to me, he was so dedicate dand I
fell in love wiht all the quirks and things that made him unique. Well, as much
as I wanted to hear him say he loved me and wanted to be with me, I was so
scarred with the fact that he had dated two backpage girls already. I didn’t trust it.
Low and behold, two week slater he went to a craftsfair and met a girl and now
they are together. What hurts the most is that she doesn’t seem like a
distraction. it seems liek the real thing. She runs an organic gardening program
and is a talented photographer. He is an arborist and bike mechanic. He is into
sustainability like she is. I cna’t help but think that they are backpage soulmates.
I
know this isn’t about her or him. I know I need to move on from this man, but I
really did love him for all the good he offered. He now loves his backpage job, has lots
of friends nad I can imagine him doing everything for this girl. They have been
together two weeks and it seems serious. Is this possible? Do men fall in love
because the girl shares so many similar interests or has many talents? Or is
this just another canadian girl to help him fill avoid. I know I rambled. I just am so
upset over all of this that I’ve been reading blogs on serial monogamists
trying to convince myself that it isn’t love, its just lust. The bed is never
cold with him. He wants so much to be married, but none of hte relationships
work out. He acts like people dont’ love him enoug, yet he knows i loved him.
He seems to be head over heals for this new backpage girl though and they seem to have similar
lifestyles. It eats me up inside.
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