So I’ve decided to get back on the sauce and once again use a fairly popular, well-known internet dating website that’s free…Yes, I’ve been going out with a few women, with mixed success, and thankfully enjoying the experience for the most part without getting too exhausted and/or frustrated.
Last night, I was pleasantly surprised to have a first date which I initially thought wouldn’t go anywhere turn out to be excellent…instead of having the typical one round of drinks and calling it a night, we ended up having four rounds, and our conversation flowed smoothly as we opened up and got to know one another…as I got the sense that she was enjoying my company and somewhat into me, just as I was into her, I asked her if she would be interested in seeing me again. I’m in my 30’s now; I’m not into the California dating games and am fairly clear with my intentions, and she was in her mid-20’s and respected the fact that I’m a bit older and have my act together (for the most part). She seemed receptive to getting together again, and I suggested getting together the upcoming weekend – we went out on a Wednesday night, so it seemed like an appropriate amount of time.
When she indicated the weekend was not looking good, I suggested the following week, and she seemed hesitant, and said she was pretty booked. Now, I understand how someone can easily book 7 dates for each night of the week, and I’m not implying that she did that. When she suggested that we meet a week and a half later, I mentioned something like, “I’m going to have to wait a week and a half to see you again?” Keep in mind as well that she’s relatively new to the California dating site, having signed up about a month ago, but she was the one who initially contacted me on the site. After my comment, she checked her schedule again and she realized she was free on Tuesday, so we agreed on getting dinner that night.
However, I’m wondering what your thoughts are with respect to waiting too long for that second date…If she were to make me wait, let’s say a week and a half, when there was no discernible excuse like going out of town, studying for a test, etc. etc., then would that be too long to wait and a sign that she wasn’t really into me, as I had thought? Do you think my comment about waiting a week and a half compelled her to “free” up a night, because she sensed I would lose interest? What’s your take?
I generally feel like after a successful first date in California, barring any exigent circumstances, i.e. catering to out of town guests, out of town trips, heavy work loads, etc., you shouldn’t have to wait more than a week to see someone you’re interested in. What say you?
I’m very talkative and open so getting to know me is quite easy so when I met my ex, we were so open and honest that it didn’t take us months to know each other. I think most people are guarded and hide themselves. I have a friend who was dating a California guy for months before she had really personal conversations whereas I on the other hand tend to have very personal and honest conversations very early on. So if they are both very transparent California people, then moving fast won’t hurt their relationship. It only hurts people when someone is hiding something.
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